It’s been a complicated relationship. Poker has been in my life now for about eight years, and we’ve sure been through our ups and downs.
I knew Poker most of my life, as my father was a poker player, and my grandmother enjoyed playing penny games at the kitchen tables with her sisters. But I wasn’t really introduced to Poker until I took a part-time accounting job with the World Poker Tour in 2003, if memory serves. It was before the company went public, when the offices were located on the old Warner Brothers lot in West Hollywood, a laid back neighborhood of offices in which employees started work at 9 or 10 in the morning, brought their dogs to work, and left in the evening when work was done. The company soon went public, though, and eventually moved to swankier office space in the Miracle Mile district. All the while, I was getting to know Poker, finding its players fascinating and its environment appealing.
After years of wanting to be a writer but not knowing where to begin, Poker inspired me. I began reading the poker magazines and websites and soon realized that there were a handful of good writers there. I decided to test the waters and see if there was room for me, working with several departments within the company to write on the side. I ghostwrote introductions for WPT-sponsored books, magazine articles about interesting poker players for the public relations department, and player profiles for the website division, most of which I did for free and all of which I did in my leisure time on weekends and evenings. I slowly built a portfolio of writing samples, and in the spring of 2006, I began to use them to apply for writing jobs. Accounting was stable enough, though never enjoyable for me, and I was never one to be comfortable in an office environment, especially working for people who micro-managed and enjoyed making others feel small. By March of that year, I was offered a job as an associate editor of a start-up poker magazine, and though a significant pay cut was involved, I had other leads for writing as well, and I made the jump. I quit my job and entered the world of freelance poker writing.
The magazine didn’t last more than a year. One poker pro associated with the magazine wanted nothing remotely negative written about the poker industry, and the owner hired a married couple to handle advertising, though they couldn’t keep up with the quickly growing industry and used somewhat slimy tactics in their sales attempts. There were some generally icky feelings associated with the endeavor, but I was continuing to build a portfolio and enjoyed getting to know Poker on a full-time basis. Though I should have seen it as a sign of things to come, I pushed forth with new opportunities.
As the years passed, I dabbled in numerous freelance endeavors. I did live tournament reporting for several outlets, wrote articles for various websites, became a skilled ghostwriter, handled basic web content for several companies, wrote press releases, interviewed players, became adept at penning shill copy, and learned more about blogging. I developed a voice, sometimes with opinions that got me into trouble, became well-versed in several aspects of the poker industry, and took on enough work to make a solid living.
Poker and I had our struggles, though. We fought in 2009 and 2010, as I longed to grow as a writer but Poker simply didn’t provide any opportunities to do so. And instead of venturing out on my own and following my instincts, I stayed with Poker because of the money. I was making enough of it to allow me some leisure travel, luxury meals, and more financial comfort than I had known in the past. But in the last week of September 2010, Poker pulled the plug. I lost my most lucrative and regular writing gig, and it happened at a time when others were losing work as well. Even average-paid jobs in the industry were hard to find. And Poker didn’t have much to offer and was only willing to offer a job if I trashed my pride, and shaved fifteen years and twice as many pounds in order to flirt with poker players in front of a camera. I still had a few smaller writing gigs, but those were never going to pay my bills, and Poker abandoned me after all my years of dedication, working with it seven days a week, and being so familiar with it that I could recite tournament dates and winners in my sleep. To say the least, I was disillusioned.
Over the last few months, I’ve taken some time to try to find writing work outside of the poker industry. But it has been hard, as a portfolio filled with poker writing doesn’t exactly translate to any other industry and doesn’t impress anyone. I’ve realized that it was a huge mistake to refrain from pursuing other work all these years and to believe that becoming a poker industry “expert” meant nothing in the larger writing world. In fact, it didn’t even mean much to Poker.
With that said, I’ve also come to realize that I miss Poker a bit. We never truly divorced, as I have been maintaining some writing gigs in the industry. And Poker recently presented with two more opportunities, both of which I accepted, not only because it will bring me closer to being able to keep my apartment and refrain from borrowing money to survive, but I will be able to regularly follow the industry that I’ve gotten to know so well over the last 7-8 years and miss to a certain degree. I will get paid to spend a few hours each day with Poker, and I won’t mind rekindling a bit of the fire that Poker and I had at one time.
In the meanwhile, I will still have time to pursue other interests, which is essential to pulling me out of a tough financial spot and bringing me back to a comfortable position. And I am more motivated than ever to do so.
Poker and I need to have an open relationship. We were good together in an exclusive relationship for awhile, but I’ve realized that marrying it is not a wise choice. Poker cannot be faithful to me like I was, and that one-way effort simply doesn’t work for me. On the other hand, I do enjoy Poker’s company and want it to be a part of my life in some way. So, an open relationship it is. Should it ever offer something more substantial and realize what I have to offer, we can have that talk again.
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