Poker, Politics, & Purpose

Blog Pause

2011-05-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

It seems that this blog and I are at another crossroads, as evidenced by the lack of recent posts here.

My relationship with poker is as rocky as ever, due primarily to the recent indictments of major online poker companies by the U.S. Department of Justice and the FBI. While some of my writing gigs are solid for the time being, others remain in question and may be lost. It’s an unstable time for online poker in the U.S. in general, and my sustenance through it is shaky.

I haven’t written about the recent turn of events in poker because of contractual obligations that could be jeopardized by doing so. While I chomp at the bit with opinions and information, I remain silent because - well - I have bills to pay and I enjoy my work. So, I stay silent for the unforeseeable future.

Poker and I also had a squabble just before the indictments, and that has been put on the back burner. A major poker entity stole an idea from me, and I’m still sorting out my options as to how to pursue the thieves, if at all.

On the positive side, I have some extra work in May and some work prospects for the coming months. Everything seems to be in limbo, but I have hope. And I am pursuing a number of other options to supplement my currently insufficient income.

This blog has also been the cause of a recent rift with a close friend. Though I’m unclear about details because the person is not speaking to me, I do know it stems from something I posted in this space. While I have long maintained that this is my place and its content will not be censored by those who don’t understand it, I have had to reconsider the purpose of the blog and what I write. Since my personal life does include others, it’s difficult for me to write anything that doesn’t include them. So, with no clear answers to so many questions, this remains a struggle for the time being.

Other purposes of this blog have been put on hold of late. Reading a book per week has not been possible when searching for work takes all of my spare time. Giving serious thought to world news for the purpose of op-ed pieces hasn’t been at the top of my priority list, either, and making a trip per month has been out of the question for financial reasons.

What continues to be a release for me is my food blog and my endeavors in the kitchen. It’s been a real treat and doesn’t seem to bother anyone or jeopardize my current jobs, so I continue to experiment with food and enjoy that process. And hey, a girl’s gotta eat, right?

News & Notes Op Ed: Inspiration Provided by Geraldine Ferraro

2011-03-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

The year was 1984, and it was a rough one in my home. I was an angry teenager who made mistakes more frequently than any young person should. Meanwhile, my mother fought for my life, my safety, and my future.

At the risk of idolizing or embarrassing my mother, I will simplify my praise of her in this post to say that she was selfless, loving, and strong. She fought for the Equal Rights Amendment and other initiatives that she felt were important to women - her daughters in particular - for as long as I can remember. Her fights in the 1970’s and 1980’s for the rights of women were done in her spare time, as she struggled to move past the death of my father and raise two girls to the best of her ability while making the time to go to meetings and marches.

In retrospect, what stands out to me the most about my mother’s life during that time was that I made it exponentially more difficult. Instead of being inspired by her, I fought against her and rebelled. While she was struggling to provide for me and make the world a better place for me, I was demeaning myself and doing my best to be the opposite of what she wanted. Though much of my behavior can be attributed to a deep depression, anger, and sadness over my father’s death, it was nonetheless the antithesis of my mother’s dreams for me. Maybe it prompted her to fight harder, or maybe it became a distraction from my antics, but she continued to fight for the rights of women in any way she could. She was involved in organizations for women’s rights, even after the 1982 deadline for the ERA, in public groups and in our private lives.

When Geraldine Ferraro accepted a place on Walter Mondale’s ticket in 1984 as the vice-presidential candidate, my mother was thrilled. There was a woman on the national - and international by default - stage, an example of the long fight for women’s rights in America and my mother’s hopes for opportunities for her daughters. Though I was too caught up in the teenage drama I created for myself to notice at the time, I now know that Ferraro’s place in politics at that time must have been bittersweet for my mother. As she watched this strong woman rise to heights never seen in the U.S. before, she had to watch her eldest daughter slink further away from her potential and promise.

Today, news surfaced of Ferraro’s death. Reading about her life and sorting through the cloudy memories of her accomplishments catapults me back to a time in my life that I often try to forget. But at the same time, I remember Ferraro as an extension of my mother, everything she has survived and all of her own successes. As did Ferraro, my mother fought against the odds for a greater good, and she also struggled to save the teetering life of her daughter; both battles were ultimately successful.

As I privately thank Ferraro posthumously for her contributions to the women of the world, I also wanted to thank my mom for hers, as she is still in this world to read this. Ferraro will always hold a special place in my memories and deserve much gratitude for the way she helped pave for women, but it is my mom who fought the same fight, just on a lesser known and different level, and not only saved my life but set an example for me that I don’t often enough follow. I often lean on her and stand on the road she paved for me, but maybe this is a good opportunity to let her know what that road means to me. Mom, you are the greatest among my heroines.

Poker and Me: The Tease

2011-03-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

Nearly two months ago, I wrote a little ditty about the relationship that Poker and I have maintained through the years and how it has changed. I concluded that we should have an open relationship and reevaluate when Poker has something more substantial to offer.

Recently, Poker did approach me with something meaningful. While it is still very much in the preliminary stages, I was asked to participate in something that has the potential to not only reward me with payment commensurate with my experience and potential contributions to the project, but my opinions will be valued, even requested. I’ve had ideas bubbling under the surface for years. I’ve put in the time and effort to know my industry quite well. And I’ve been yearning to put my experience to use if only it would be appreciated and compensated to some reasonable degree. This new project seems as if it may tap into those things. The chance to work with consummate professionals, offer opinions, and become an esteemed contributor to a business endeavor is enticing and worth the effort as it moves toward something substantial.

In the time being, as Poker teases me with an opportunity that truly makes me feel that the journey has been worth it, I’m left with the pieces of my career that I continuously try to string together to make something coherent. I have one job that I do enjoy very much but it makes up such a tiny portion of my monthly nut that it’s barely noticeable on the larger map. There is another gig that will start in the coming weeks for a company that I respect, and while I hope to grow that into something bigger over time, I can only count that as a dot on the current landscape. And as for my other work, it’s tough to handle being underestimated and undervalued when something bigger and better stares at me from the land of possibilities.

So, Poker dangles the carrot, and I’m hungry for it. Meanwhile, I continue to be grateful for the work that I’ve been able to accumulate over the last few months because I do fully understand that any paid writing work is tough to come by. Thus, the conundrum is even tougher because I straddle the line between being grateful that I can pay my rent - even if only with a few cents left over - and being distressed that I could and would love to do so much more.

Poker knows from experience that I am more than willing to put in the time and effort to hold up my end of the relationship. If Poker can reciprocate, we’ll be in a much happier place.

I did receive a call from Travel the other day. I’m only mentioning it because he’s attractive in a lot of ways. I may return the call just to see where the conversation goes. We may not click, but I’m certainly interested in a date. Poker has never put a ring on it, so …

News & Notes Op Ed: Crazy is Not Funny

2011-03-12T13:43:00.000-08:00

It can be fun to live vicariously through the lives of celebrities. It’s why so many people watch entertainment television and frequent websites like TMZ, with everything in their lineups from “news” programs to fashion diatribes. People want to see the glamorous side of a life that most will never enjoy themselves. At the same time, however, those same people want to see those same celebrities screw up. Seeing Hollywood stars in their million-dollar homes and fancy clothes is one thing, but it makes people feel better about themselves when those stars make mistakes, wear mismatched clothes when they take out the trash, trip on a curb leaving a restaurant, and simply err as humans.

Reality television has capitalized on the trend. Celebrities in need of cash parade around in front of cameras - Kardashians, Hogans, Osbournes, etc. - for publicity and a little help with mansion mortgage payments, and some participate in shows like “Celebrity Rehab” because they are surrounded by people who clearly don’t have their best interest at heart. But people clamor to watch them, whether they are parading around Rodeo Drive with a purse puppy or telling a heartbreaking story to a counselor to deal with a drug addiction. It makes them real to Joe America, who can then feel better about his own life and choices.

Charlie Sheen has been no stranger to the spotlight, nor has his family through the years. But his latest stint in the news has been an example of an over-the-top attention quest that is almost unparalleled. And it is terrifying.

Some may argue that Sheen’s recent domination of the news is not much different from your Lindsay Lohan family/crime/rehab drama that makes the top news story here in Los Angeles. It is reality television in real reality, more authentic than any TV show can edit itself to be. The problem with such coverage, however, is that the hunger for the “people’s” story outweighs common sense in many cases, as when Lohan takes precedence over the Egyptians’ overthrow of a dictator in the daily news recap. It’s easy to say that values are skewed in this city of dreams, but it’s bigger than that, and it happens on a much grander scale than in Hollywood.

The Sheen story is evidence of the extreme. And it’s certainly not just the greater L.A. area taking an interest, as the world is watching his antics on Twitter and UStream. Charlie Sheen’s behavior can be called many things, but words like abnormal, disturbed, and crazy are some of the most common terms bandied about in the media. And it’s all available for the public to watch.

Quite possibly, some people began following Sheen over the past few weeks because he seemed to want to break from the mold. He declared that traditional rehabilitation was a fraud, he was going - and did? - cure himself of addictions, and he was a victim of mainstream societal principles and those who wanted to secure his downfall, though those are all simplifications of his rants. He asserted that his strength would overcome all, and his theme of “winning” resonated with the general public. Who doesn’t want to win? Who doesn’t want to shun tradition and overcome obstacles in their own way? What guy doesn’t want to give the middle finger to ex-wives and show off live-in porn-star goddesses who cater to his every whim? Go Charlie!

Sigh.

For those who simply read a blurb on TMZ or saw a few words on Twitter, it may seem that he is being vilified in the media. Sheen may appear to be a casualty of the tough Hollywood life. Yet others may see this as pure entertainment, an extension of Hollywood that finds its way onto their computers for a good laugh.

Personally, I read the headlines but ignored much of the story in the beginning as typical celebrity fluff. But a few days ago, I was prompted by a link to watch this video:

Video streaming by Ustream

This was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever watched. Charlie Sheen is sick. Whether he is succumbing to addictions or suffering from severe mental illness is for a professional to deduce, but every moment of the video points to problems that are deeper and more troubling than any casual viewer can see.

Most likely, the average viewer doesn’t know anyone with such a life-threatening condition. Mental illness and addiction are often desensitized by talk shows like “Dr. Phil” and “Celebrity Rehab,” and people don’t see them as the deeply serious and dangerous conditions that they are. Those who are able to see the potential disaster in this situation have tuned out of the Sheen mania and refuse to glamorize it, but far too many still find it amusing. They watch Sheen and read his rants, laugh at his “winning” tirades and even shudder at his incoherence, but they won’t turn away.

Turn away.

Though I am certainly no psychiatric professional, I have seen enough mental illness and addiction in my years to know that this is a trainwreck in progress. The outcome will not be pretty or funny; it will either shock the public with a grand finale, one that could easily result in death or harm to Sheen or others, or disappoints the public with a meltdown that simply puts Sheen behind bars or in a mental health facility.

Be the better person and stop feeding this frenzy. Look at the seriousness of it and the potential for a tragic outcome, and don’t count yourself among those who laughed at it.

*****

For a well-written alternate opinion on this topic, my friend Rakewell gives his thoughts on Sheen, the lack of a real medical emergency, and the possibility of an artistic side to it all. Take a read here.

Normalcy

2011-03-10T11:19:00.000-08:00

Not much about my life is normal, nor has it ever been. My career is in a constant state of flux, there is no romantic relationship in my life at the moment, my family lives in another city, and the geographic range of my friendships starts in L.A. and goes as far as Nice, France. I live the odd life of a hermit much of the time, and the challenging life of a writer on the cusp of either success or ruin.

But when a friend’s husband died suddenly several weeks ago, my life changed drastically. I did what needed to be done for a friend and to support our group of friends - my second family, really - but I soon realized that I was doing so at the risk of my own demise. I was ignoring my own emotional needs, putting my already-shaky career on the back burner, and spending money that wasn’t available. And though these dangers lurked in the back of my mind, it took messages from several friends, those outside of this situation, to remind me that I had to set limits or find myself the one in need of help.

While I am still available to my friend and participating in helpful tasks when I am able, I have to accept some realities. I need to focus on my career, whether that involves Skype meetings, completing the work that I do have in a timely manner, networking for more opportunities, sending queries, or simply keeping up to date on happenings in the poker industry. I need to write. I need to spend time cooking, reading, and watching the occasional movie or news program. I need to support other friends who are going through rough times or doing spectacular things, both of which deserve some of my attention as a friend. I need to stay out of situations in which my help is not wanted. Basically, I need to take care of me.

This week, I’m doing just that. It’s not easy, but I’m finding some peace in it. Thanks to the friends who have nudged me and been supportive. The only reason I’m not spiraling out of control is because they sense when I’m starting to spin and help me become grounded again.

I hope to resume some op-ed pieces soon, as well as some other content here. Meanwhile, keep checking my food blog for my latest kitchen adventures.

Words

2011-02-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

It is not often that I am without words. There is always something - advice, a recollection, an inquiry or question, lame attempt at humor - to say or write somewhere for some reason. It is rare that I am stunned into silence.

The 12:30am call on February 17 did it. “He’s dead,” she sobbed. It took moments before I requested clarification, and it seemed that minutes went by before I had words.

He was her 44-year old husband, the love of my friend’s life, the one the universe introduced to her after a rough 35 years that included more heartbreak than most people could fathom.

They loved, married, and built a life on dreams and hopes, faith and love. But only a few years into the life that they cherished, it was shattered only days after Valentine’s Day. He was working late, as usual, but the lack of contact was unsettling for her, which ultimately prompted a late-night visit to his office many miles away. He died peacefully it seemed, hours before, of a condition related to hypertension, and a frantic attempt to save his life quickly became a reality filled with a most untimely and devastating death.

Through the despondence, past the coroner and police in the hours that followed, and in their home filled with comforts, cats, religion, and symbols of their unity, in the days that crept slowly afterward, there were words. The words were meant to comfort, engage, explain, lighten, help, sympathize, empathize, resuscitate, and love. But despite their intentions and ultimate sincerity, they were rendered relatively meaningless by the scope and depth of the tragedy at hand. My friend heard the words but did not process them. Her friends and family spoke to her about a loss that is greater than most of us could understand, and our words were futile attempts to lift pain and grief that cannot be lifted.

In the week that passed, I have listened to the tragedies of others with new ears - my mother’s loss of my father when I was a child, my friend’s loss of a baby, another friend’s loss of her beloved cat. Though the descriptions of events and feelings seem more real to me than before, they are still only words that paint a picture and give a glimpse into the pain that they felt and feel, but the true weight on those people’s hearts is unexplainable. Words are necessary but so incredibly insufficient, as are those used in an attempt to comfort or understand.

But it is how we communicate, how we relate, how we bond as human beings. Language connects us and enables us to share feelings. So here I sit with my keyboard, stringing letters together and making words into paragraphs that attempt to express the inexpressible.

Part of me feels that I should refrain from saying much of anything. Evidently, some of my words have caused hurt feelings among friends in the past few days. Words seem to be tearing a hole, albeit a small one at this point, in a family of friends that needs to be together now more than ever, but words that were meant to be helpful are being confused and personalized and misconstrued.

Even so, I will continue to find the right words because it is in my nature. I will write them here, speak them to anyone in earshot, and condense them into minuscule phrases on Facebook and Twitter. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. Those who truly know me will understand, and maybe - in some way - we will all grow to understand the bigger picture as well. Pain and heartache and tragedy are only healed through time and words, and since I have no control over the former, I’ll choose the latter and hope that it ultimately helps me…and those I love so wholeheartedly.

News & Notes Op Ed: Get on Board with Recycled Grocery Bags

2011-02-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

Recycling is a big deal in Los Angeles. People can recycle almost anything, as nearly all apartment buildings and homes are provided with recycle bins, and the city takes care of the disposal and recycling process. According to the L.A. Times, California municipalities across the state spend approximately $25 million each year to collect and recycle plastic grocery bags alone, making costs for all recycling practically incomprehensible.

That $25 million seems like a rather high cost for plastic bags. But considering that Santa Monica alone distributes 26 million plastic shopping bags each year, it begins to make sense. But of those 26 million bags, it is estimated that less than 5 percent of them are actually recycled, while the vast majority are thrown in the trash or end up littering the city.

Los Angeles is doing something about it. Several parts of the county have decided to approve an ordinance to ban plastic bags and charge for any paper bags that customers may desire to purchase. Santa Monica has moved faster than any other part of Los Angeles, courtesy of the City Council’s January 2011 approval of the ban of bag distribution in stores. Effective in September, no stores - not grocery stores, clothing stores, or any other retailer - will be allowed to distribute free plastic bags, with the sole exception being small produce bags for fruits and vegetables. Customers will be required to bring their own bags or pay for paper options.

Many residents of Santa Monica are ready and willing to deal with the ordinance, though those in opposition seem to have the loudest voices. “What if I forget my bags in the car?” “How am I supposed to know how many bags I will need when I go shopping?” “I’ll shop outside of Santa Monica rather than deal with this!”

As someone who has long carried her own bags into grocery and retail stores, my eyes have been opened to a number of practices that have created the current problem, and it’s not difficult to see why customers are thrown into a tizzy by the changes in the works.

I will only speak for my experiences with the Ralphs chain of grocery stores, as it is the only one that I frequent in Southern California besides Trader Joe’s. And Trader Joe’s employees know how to bag groceries in my bags and even in paper bags given to customers who don’t bring their own. Ralphs, on the other hand, is the most wasteful corporation I have ever seen.

Take me as an example. I typically bring one large reusable, sturdy plastic grocery bag to the store. I ensure that everything I purchase on that day will fit into the bag. However, by the time I reach the cash register and the cashier notices I only have one bag, I’m regularly asked what kind of bags I would like for the rest of my groceries. “None,” I respond. “Everything can fit into one bag if done properly.” I have to instruct them to put heavy items on the bottom, items like fruit on the top so as not to be smashed, and flowers or bread in the corner of the bag. Note that I put everything on the cashier table in proper order so as to avoid this type of confusion; if they bagged everything as it is scanned, it would be a no-brainer, but that never happens. I’m often asked if I want a separate bag for numerous items - chips, bread, eggs, meat - which is perplexing, because there is no real reason that they should not be in the same bag, and I have to again insist that everything can and will fit in my one bag. In the end, I often ask to bag the groceries myself. The entire process baffles the staff and customers alike.

Once when I wasn’t looking, my already-bagged baguette ended up in a little plastic bag half its size. I asked the bagger, who I recognized and have seen at the store for years, why she thought that was necessary, which prompted her to simply give a confused look. I removed the plastic bag, handed it back to her, and carried my pre-packaged baguette in my hand. It seemed foreign to her.

Just yesterday, I watched a customer in front of me and the bagging process of her groceries. She had relatively few items, the biggest of which were two gallons of milk. The bagger put each in a separate plastic bag - and double bagged each one. She had several frozen food items, and instead of putting those in one bag, they were split into three bags that each contained two small items. Eggs were put into a separate bag. A loaf of bread was put into a separate bag. The woman ended up leaving with 12 separate bags, two of them doubled.

It shocks me every time, but it shouldn’t. It is very common practice to double-bag many items for seemingly no reason, and fill each bag less than half full, using separate bags for numerous items. How is it that the carton of eggs, in a flimsy plastic bag, is any safer than if packaged with other items? How is it that a loaf of bread needs to be protected from other groceries? Are the bags so paper-thin that they can’t handle one gallon of milk per bag?

Most people have gotten so accustomed to the process of watching their groceries randomly packed in multiple bags that they don’t think twice about it. Many of them scoff at the idea of having to bring their own bags, though they care little about the waste or the millions of dollars it costs to deal with those bags, recycled or not.

Folks, I’m here to tell you that it’s a simple life change to make. I bring my bags in the store with me, and after making notes to myself to remember, it is now a simple habit. I do it whether I’m going to Ralphs or Macy’s or CVS Pharmacy. When I get home, I unpack the bag and leave it in front of the door so I remember to put it back in the car. It’s automatic for me now. It can be for you, too.

It is not a requirement that you care about the environment…or the California budget…or even common sense. But at some point in the near future, you are going to have to deal with the consequences of your actions through the years. It’s not necessarily your fault that the process got so out of hand, as stores like Ralphs truly allowed it to go beyond the realm of good business practice when they stopped training baggers and cashiers with regard to efficiency and started treating plastic bags as if they were free and without consequence. However, you watched it happen, said nothing, and walked away with your 20 bags of groceries.

Cities like Santa Monica are being brave enough to begin cutting down on their negative environmental impact, eliminating waste, and reducing the costs to store owners. All you have to do is bring your own bag(s) to the store.

Reading List: Late 2010 & January 2011

2011-02-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

One of my resolutions for the new year was to read more books. I’m happy to say that I’ve been very motivated with this one and am making progress.

Reading has sadly taken a back seat to numerous other projects through the years. When I worked in an office, I spent my free time trying to break into the freelance writing business. As a freelance writer, I worked seven days a week immersing myself in the poker industry. But through those years, I found that one of the key missing ingredients in my world was reading. I missed books, as I spent my youth as an avid reader. My solo trip to France was a chance to fall back in love with books, and though most of my time back in L.A. in the subsequent months was consumed by job hunting - and fretting about it - I managed to fit in a few books, mostly those written by friends.

With reading being one of my 2011 resolutions, I’m trying to manage at least one book per week. It’s been a relief to do it, actually, as it truly provides an escape from my laptop and allows me some time getting lost in the words of others.

I completed some of the following books in 2010 but wanted to give them a little bump by mentioning them here because some were written by friends and colleagues. Others may seem like random selections from the world of books, but my stack of must-read items is rather large, so it was best to simply dive in.

Same Difference by Martin Harris

(Hard-boiled mystery novel)

Lost Vegas by Paul McGuire

(Darker side of Vegas and the WSOP)

Gambling Balance by Linda Fitzgerald

(Alternate theory about gambling addiction)

Returning the Favor and Other Slices of Life by John Hartness

(Poetry)

Red Dirt Boy by John Hartness

(Poetry)

The Chosen by John Hartness

(Adam and Eve in a present-day fictional setting)

Where Hope Begins by Alysia Sofios

(Befriending Marcus Wesson's family after the mass murder)

For Richer, For Poorer by Victoria Coren

(Her life in poker)

Pitchforks and Torches by Keith Olbermann

(Worst persons in the world)

The Human Stain by Philip Roth

(Famous American novel)

Murder in the Marais by Cara Black

(Mystery set in Paris)

A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle

(Based on his life experience)

Anything Considered by Peter Mayle

(Mystery novel)

The Vintage Caper by Peter Mayle

(Mystery novel)

News & Notes Op Ed: The Meltdown of TV News

2011-01-31T11:52:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, I had a meltdown. After four solid days of motivation and positivity that led to great productivity, I woke up on Friday to deal with the complications of launching a website, rejection for another health insurance policy, and difficulties scheduling a medical test that current insurance won’t cover. Three hours later, the meltdown reached its peak, and I dubbed it a complete loss, retiring to the couch with a jar of Nutella and a bag of potato chips. The rest of the day was going to consist of nothing but coverage of the unrest in Egypt, courtesy of television news.

It was my full and complete focus on it, along with some follow-up observations throughout the weekend, that prompted some thoughts on the poor state of TV news. It is flirting with its own meltdown, and much of its journey to eventual irrelevance was quite evident in the way it covered breaking news.

The first thing I noticed was the repetition of stories, ones that recurred over and over each hour. There was not only a lack of variation from one hour to the next, but nothing explained or uncovered in any of the interviews was incorporated into coverage going forward. For example, most news channels focused on the role that social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter played in the level of unrest in Egypt and the escalation of the citizens’ concerns to action. While it certainly did play a part by enabling organization as well as notification to the rest of the world of the increasingly frightening state of affairs in that country, newscasters were inaccurately attributing too much of it to social networking. Several guests, those with specialized knowledge of Egypt and the conflict itself, attempted to correct the reporters, noting that while Twitter and Facebook were an aspect of it, the anger of citizens and urgency of the situation were beasts of their own that had been the focus of regional news outlets in the area long before U.S. reporters saw it trending on Twitter. But no matter the guests’ insistence that social networking should not be the center of the story, it was one of the primary focuses of coverage going forward, with guests such as American students who spent time in Egypt and on Facebook.

The second aspect of the U.S. news coverage that was maddening should not have been a surprise, as it is a commonplace part of daily news programs no matter the topic. Television news anchors generally seem to feel that it is acceptable to ask a question of a guest or pundit, and then refuse to give them sufficient time to answer. In addition, if the answer is not what the anchor expected, it seemed justified to interject and steer the expert in the direction they sought in the first place. It even happened when interviewing reporters on the ground in Egypt, those who had first-hand expert knowledge of the status of the Egyptian people and their actions and were staying up through the night to give U.S. news channels those accounts. To take someone like Richard Engel, an award-winning journalist who continues to bring stunningly informative reports from Egypt as he did from Afghanistan, and interrupt his informative reports with questions about Twitter and the like was simply rude and unprofessional. News anchors who feel that their script is more important than uncovering facts, who decide that it is imperative to ask all of their questions instead of allowing guests to be completely informative, should not be allowed to anchor during important breaking news. Those tactics, though still maddening, might work when reporting a story about bedbugs, but they are utterly inappropriate when discussing the state of a nation, oppression of its people, and possible overthrow of a government.

On that same note, it seems that running a clip of mayhem in the streets of Egypt next to the pundit or reporter who is trying to explain something might be effective in some way, but running it with sound is not only rude but distracting. It is difficult for an expert to speak and an audience to focus on his or her words when the sound of protests and gunshots are the background noise. Should that reporter be on the scene, obviously the noise of that scene is appropriate. But simply using a clip to illustrate the scene, one likely from many hours prior, with sound, up against the pundit or guest, looks and feels like a rookie mistake, though it was done by several news channels. Guests looked distracted and taken aback. Not only should clips have time stamps to indicate when they were recorded, but sound should be muted while guests are speaking. Basic news etiquette, no?

Another facet of the news coverage that stood out was the lack of actual information. While one of the news channels couldn’t even dig up a factually correct map of the location of Egypt, according to the Huffington Post, others would have done well to realize that most Americans know little about Egypt or the region in general. It wasn’t until the weekend that I finally saw a piece about the timeline of ruling powers in Egypt, and it was reduced to a two-minute segment. And tossing in a statistic about the percentage of people in Egypt who live on less than $2 per day, without any context or explanation, doesn’t educate the viewing public in the least. Instead of pulling guests from the CNN Facebook page, it might be truly educational to write a lengthy segment on or allow a scholar with expertise in the region to describe the history of Egypt, details of the 30 years of Mubarak’s reign, and a larger picture of that region of the world. Educate and inform, rather than pick the hottest headlines and cover them with little background or historical basis.

After soaking up the news coverage from television, I felt that I should have been better informed. One can argue that it is my responsibility to read about Egypt’s past and present state, especially with the availability of information on the internet. In fact, that is where I get the crux of my news because I can find exactly what I want when I want it. My frustrations arise from knowing that many people don’t do the research and only know what they see on television, and I feel that it is the responsibility of the journalists and reporters there to provide better and more complete coverage.

There are many reasons that Americans are generally uninformed or underinformed about the state of the world. Television news could play an integral role in changing that, should they choose to do so, instead of actively participating in its own downfall and eventual irrelevance.

Poker and Me: The Awkward Stage

2011-01-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

It’s been a complicated relationship. Poker has been in my life now for about eight years, and we’ve sure been through our ups and downs.

I knew Poker most of my life, as my father was a poker player, and my grandmother enjoyed playing penny games at the kitchen tables with her sisters. But I wasn’t really introduced to Poker until I took a part-time accounting job with the World Poker Tour in 2003, if memory serves. It was before the company went public, when the offices were located on the old Warner Brothers lot in West Hollywood, a laid back neighborhood of offices in which employees started work at 9 or 10 in the morning, brought their dogs to work, and left in the evening when work was done. The company soon went public, though, and eventually moved to swankier office space in the Miracle Mile district. All the while, I was getting to know Poker, finding its players fascinating and its environment appealing.

After years of wanting to be a writer but not knowing where to begin, Poker inspired me. I began reading the poker magazines and websites and soon realized that there were a handful of good writers there. I decided to test the waters and see if there was room for me, working with several departments within the company to write on the side. I ghostwrote introductions for WPT-sponsored books, magazine articles about interesting poker players for the public relations department, and player profiles for the website division, most of which I did for free and all of which I did in my leisure time on weekends and evenings. I slowly built a portfolio of writing samples, and in the spring of 2006, I began to use them to apply for writing jobs. Accounting was stable enough, though never enjoyable for me, and I was never one to be comfortable in an office environment, especially working for people who micro-managed and enjoyed making others feel small. By March of that year, I was offered a job as an associate editor of a start-up poker magazine, and though a significant pay cut was involved, I had other leads for writing as well, and I made the jump. I quit my job and entered the world of freelance poker writing.

The magazine didn’t last more than a year. One poker pro associated with the magazine wanted nothing remotely negative written about the poker industry, and the owner hired a married couple to handle advertising, though they couldn’t keep up with the quickly growing industry and used somewhat slimy tactics in their sales attempts. There were some generally icky feelings associated with the endeavor, but I was continuing to build a portfolio and enjoyed getting to know Poker on a full-time basis. Though I should have seen it as a sign of things to come, I pushed forth with new opportunities.

As the years passed, I dabbled in numerous freelance endeavors. I did live tournament reporting for several outlets, wrote articles for various websites, became a skilled ghostwriter, handled basic web content for several companies, wrote press releases, interviewed players, became adept at penning shill copy, and learned more about blogging. I developed a voice, sometimes with opinions that got me into trouble, became well-versed in several aspects of the poker industry, and took on enough work to make a solid living.

Poker and I had our struggles, though. We fought in 2009 and 2010, as I longed to grow as a writer but Poker simply didn’t provide any opportunities to do so. And instead of venturing out on my own and following my instincts, I stayed with Poker because of the money. I was making enough of it to allow me some leisure travel, luxury meals, and more financial comfort than I had known in the past. But in the last week of September 2010, Poker pulled the plug. I lost my most lucrative and regular writing gig, and it happened at a time when others were losing work as well. Even average-paid jobs in the industry were hard to find. And Poker didn’t have much to offer and was only willing to offer a job if I trashed my pride, and shaved fifteen years and twice as many pounds in order to flirt with poker players in front of a camera. I still had a few smaller writing gigs, but those were never going to pay my bills, and Poker abandoned me after all my years of dedication, working with it seven days a week, and being so familiar with it that I could recite tournament dates and winners in my sleep. To say the least, I was disillusioned.

Over the last few months, I’ve taken some time to try to find writing work outside of the poker industry. But it has been hard, as a portfolio filled with poker writing doesn’t exactly translate to any other industry and doesn’t impress anyone. I’ve realized that it was a huge mistake to refrain from pursuing other work all these years and to believe that becoming a poker industry “expert” meant nothing in the larger writing world. In fact, it didn’t even mean much to Poker.

With that said, I’ve also come to realize that I miss Poker a bit. We never truly divorced, as I have been maintaining some writing gigs in the industry. And Poker recently presented with two more opportunities, both of which I accepted, not only because it will bring me closer to being able to keep my apartment and refrain from borrowing money to survive, but I will be able to regularly follow the industry that I’ve gotten to know so well over the last 7-8 years and miss to a certain degree. I will get paid to spend a few hours each day with Poker, and I won’t mind rekindling a bit of the fire that Poker and I had at one time.

In the meanwhile, I will still have time to pursue other interests, which is essential to pulling me out of a tough financial spot and bringing me back to a comfortable position. And I am more motivated than ever to do so.

Poker and I need to have an open relationship. We were good together in an exclusive relationship for awhile, but I’ve realized that marrying it is not a wise choice. Poker cannot be faithful to me like I was, and that one-way effort simply doesn’t work for me. On the other hand, I do enjoy Poker’s company and want it to be a part of my life in some way. So, an open relationship it is. Should it ever offer something more substantial and realize what I have to offer, we can have that talk again.

News & Notes Op Ed: Temporarily Silenced

2011-01-24T20:25:00.000-08:00

In a somewhat surprising turn of events last week, one of the premier voices of the liberal community was fired from his job at MSNBC. Keith Olbermann was informed of the executive decision on Friday, January 21, and he hosted his final show, leaving in the end with about three minutes of farewell words followed by his traditional Friday Thurber story reading, after which he threw his papers at the camera and wished the audience “Good night, and good luck” for the final time.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

It should be noted that there are reports that the separation between Olbermann and MSNBC was mutual, despite Olbermann seeming surprised to have to deliver his final show that night. The New York Times reported that the decision was “weeks in the making.” Other reports from the likes of Huffington Post indicated that tension rose to new heights behind the scenes since his November 2010 suspension for undisclosed campaign donations, and the boiling point was practically inevitable.

Olbermann made prime-time MSNBC what it is today, a space that welcomes many voices but gives a specific soapbox to liberal commentators, hosts, and pundits. His show in particular was one that went further than those in the past, calling out the longtime voices of the conservative movement and contradicting their allegations with facts, correcting their misstatements, and speaking louder about various issues than most liberal spokespeople had dared before. Countdown with Keith Olbermann became the most watched show on MSNBC and paved the way for other commentators like Rachel Maddow to break into new journalistic territory as well.

Critics were many, some even crawling from the sports archives to say that they hated him as a sports commentator and made their judgments about his political career from there. Some criticized him for being as much on the “crazy” end of the left wing as Limbaugh and others sat on the right. He was accused of being dramatic, judgmental, and biased.

And for being a fan, I was criticized, too. Believing anything that Olbermann said was akin to blind faith, the same as the conservatives putting their faith in Sean Hannity. I was just as bad as those I railed against. With that said, most of the people who cast those stones hadn’t the faintest idea of my beliefs or ideals and sure didn’t care to ask.

I’ve always been a liberal. It is how my mother raised me, and it has always felt like a perfectly natural fit. My beliefs in life, politics, and society have almost always been in sync with the left wing school of thought. When I discovered Olbermann on television, courtesy of my mother if I recall correctly, he spoke my language, only he did it better than I ever could. He had the facts and the words to wrap around them, so eloquently and firmly based in reality. And even when his facts didn’t seem believable, I’d open the laptop and research, only to find out that he was correct. Don’t get me wrong here; there were many occasions in which I disagreed with his sentiments and often took issue with his phrasing of questions to guests or snide comments about a topic. He was not infallible by any stretch of the imagination. But I very often agreed with his take on the issues of the day, and when I didn’t, I still respected his views. And when he presented something as fact, it was. Many of you reading this will disagree with his politics, and even the way in which his ideas were presented, but no one can deny that he was an educated, intelligent man.

His announcement that he was leaving MSNBC - more precisely, my coveted television lineup - I was floored. Olbermann and Maddow are the ones I went to for sanity each day. They validated my feelings, expressed my beliefs better than I could hope to do on my own, and gave me much food for thought going forward. Maddow remains on the network and will continue to be that intellectual nourishment for me. I will temporarily have to deal with the lack of Olbermann - I will not and cannot watch Ed Shultz or Lawrence O’Donnell berate their guests and opine me to sleep - and hope that Olbermann’s words and unique political voice reappear on the landscape somewhere at some time.

So, this is very personal for me. I have learned many things from my evenings with Olbermann, most importantly to back up your statements with facts, speak loudly for your beliefs, and refuse to be silenced. Now that he’s not in my face on the television to do those things for the time being, I will look to do more for myself. I hope that my little op-ed pieces here improve over time, that I can begin to build my voice in a way that stands on facts while proudly displaying my liberal beliefs that give me faith in humanity and country. Thanks to Keith Olbermann for teaching me to continue fighting to maintain that optimism and hold firmly to my core beliefs.

Trip Report: Balboa Island, Newport Beach, CA

2011-01-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

One of my 2011 resolutions was to travel somewhere new every month of the year. The choices for January were severely limited by my lack of funds due to underemployment, so I knew it had to be a day trip somewhere in Southern Cali. Since I’ve never been to Newport Beach, I decided to check out Balboa Island

The pictures speak for themselves.

It was a cute area, with beautiful homes, canals, and boats around every corner. Lots of little shops and eateries lined the main boulevard, though many of the items in those stores were pricey and touristy. However, there was an amazing olive oil shop, and the grocery market contained quite a bit of fresh and unique food.

I stopped for a quiet lunch at Amelia’s, a quaint Italian restaurant that had a substantial seafood menu. I tried the platter that contained shrimp scampi, lobster ravioli, and salmon. All were delicious and went well with my glass of Pinot. When I arrived at 1:00, the place was empty, perfectly quiet so I could read, though customers soon filled the dining room, and I departed.

I walked around the docks and canals for a short while, but there were quite a few tourists and not many places to relax in silence to read. In addition, parking had been very scarce when I arrived, and I snagged a spot that had a two-hour limit. I didn’t want to risk a ticket, so I left.

The island was a nice place to visit, but more of a place to take tourists. I think the other side of the island that I didn’t visit had a ferry and beach areas, which might be nice in the heat of the summer. Though it was a cute neighborhood, it was right out of a book about the wealth that swarms over Newport Beach. Everyone clearly had money, as evidenced by the cars, boats, and mass amounts of yachts. Yacht clubs were everywhere just before driving over the bay to the island, which was a little intimidating. (I was prepared to fake an English accent should I be stopped for any reason.) The residents of the island all seemed to have dogs, many of them with little well-groomed ones being carried in owners’ arms or in purses. And there was a plethora of golf carts, since the streets were tiny and parking was not easy. With all of that, I wasn’t particularly comfortable in the surroundings and felt like I was looking in on a world in which I didn’t belong.

I suppose I prefer places like Venice Beach or Santa Monica, where more of a variety of folks can be found and everyone seems to fit in somehow. Even so, Balboa Island was a nice place to visit for a few hours and a glimpse into a part of Southern California that I don’t often see.

2011 News & Notes: Change It Up!

2011-01-16T10:05:00.000-08:00

The toughest part of New Year’s resolutions for me is that my goals are constantly changing, thereby making it difficult to commit to a year of one particular task, despite my best efforts. Often times, I experiment and find that a resolution needs tweaking because of how it turns out in reality.

My goal to post weekly thoughts on news items is already in transition. After posting the first week’s notes, I realized that there is far too much going on in the world to focus on just a few items without giving any of them the justice they deserve. That brought me to my second news-related post this year, an op-ed piece on the aftermath of the Tucson shootings, which I found immensely rewarding to ponder and write. Therefore, going forward, I will stick to op-ed pieces about a particular topic or news event that provokes a reaction from me, whether a few sentences or a bit of an essay.

So, no news wrap today, but I will leave you with the wise words of President Barack Obama, who spoke at a Tucson memorial service this week. It’s lengthy but incredible food for thought:

News & Notes Op Ed: Dealing With Tragedy

2011-01-13T11:51:00.000-08:00

There are three typical reactions to a tragedy. One is reflective and looks to remedy issues that may have contributed to or allowed the tragedy to take place, and the second is blame-centered and wants to hold people responsible and seek punishment. And the third chooses not to think about it.

A person drives drunk, causes an accident, and kills an innocent person.

Reflective person is saddened and looks to discover the core of the problem. If the drunk driver was with friends, why didn’t anyone take his keys? More public service messages might be needed. Did anyone working at the bar notice that the subject was drunk and intending to drive? Maybe bars should be encouraged to monitor patrons more closely and be proactive about encouraging cabs instead of drunk driving. Why weren’t there any police on the road that might have seen the driver swerving across lanes? The police department might be understaffed and need attention in the next state budget discussions.

Blamer is angry. Drunk driver is in jail and will be tried for manslaughter, and the jail time will serve him right. Friends were negligent in letting drunk driver leave the bar with his own keys, but they will have to live with that guilt. Someone from the bar should have stopped the man from getting in his car…or from getting so drunk in the first place; a lawsuit might hold them responsible. If the driver had any previous run-ins with the law involving drunk driving, the police department or legal system could be blamed for not punishing him more severely in the past.

Sarah Palin brought to my attention that there is that third option, which is to merely react with an emotion, like sadness, and leave it at that. In her January 12 video, she noted that the shootings occurred, the perpetrator was caught, and that’s that. “Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own. They begin and end with the criminals who commit them.” Okay then.

All reactions are somewhat understandable. The first looks to make change in order to prevent a recurrence, and the second blames the guilty parties, maybe looking to hold as many people accountable as possible, and moves on. The third seems to feel that the criminal acted in a bubble. Each one uses coping mechanisms that help people process and reason such a tragedy. But considering the incident affects more than just the injured parties but rather society as a whole, which of the reactions is most productive? Which is more helpful in the long run and liable to solve a problem that realistically affects a wide range of people?

That brings me to the obvious topic here, the shooting incident in Tucson, Arizona. People died. Others are left struggling to survive, including U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords. And many more are left to cope. Being such a mass shooting - not to mention a cold, calculated, and violent one that involved public officials - also inevitably draws a saturation of news coverage and input from other lawmakers. Theories fly, and opinions become a dime a dozen. But this is what happens in a democratic society, one that functions with the help of a plethora of media outlets and technologically advanced communication devices. People with opinions and thoughts are going to weigh in and discuss.

One of the problems during this process is that many people can’t tell the difference between a civil, timely discussion about political rhetoric, gun control, and other issues versus blame. The vast majority of pundits on TV and radio are not holding anyone but Loughner responsible, but they are seeking to instigate discussions about subjects that have arisen from the tragedy. That is the sort of movement that has the potential to make us better, as a society and as a free country.

Everyone doesn’t have to participate. Those who are too sad or disturbed by the happenings in Tucson, or those who simply have other issues on which to focus, have every right to refrain from talking the applicability of other issues to the crime. But they need to understand that we are an intelligent, analytical people by nature, and those who want to delve into some important topics will do just that.

Two primary discussions are taking place. One is the attempt to understand the extreme mental instability that seemed to be in play with Loughner, and the laws that allowed such a person to obtain a viciously deadly weapon and the throngs of bullets that did the deed, and the way Americans view and handle the subject of mental health. The other is the nature of today’s politics that makes politicians fearful of and needing protection from the citizens they represent.

There will be politics in these discussions because a politician was the primary target of the killer’s wrath. That makes it an integral part of the discussion. A politician was brutally shot - 20 people were shot in all - at a political event hosted by a politician. There is no way to keep that out of the subsequent chatter. But it can be done in a way that creates a discussion about the language and nature of the current political environment without connecting any one person or incident with this tragedy. That discussion, however, will bring out the names of people who have been or are particularly careless with their speech and those who use images irresponsibly. It doesn’t mean they are responsible in any way for Loughner’s actions, as he acted alone and without much seeming reason or rational thought and without motivation from any real coherent political leanings. It only means that political words and symbols, especially those used in heated campaigns, are part of the discussion that has emerged from the tragedy and could be used to possibly be more responsible and sensible going forward.

Rhetoric is the word of the hour. While it’s being grossly overused, the topic it represents is a real one, and it extends beyond the Sarah Palin map of crosshairs and her use of the word “reload” when discussing campaign strategies. The discussions are growing in scope to examine words used by members of the media as well as political candidates, words like target, annihilate, aim, reload, kill, and attack. With the help of one Thesaurus and a change in the tone of all involved, politics could still be reported accurately but without violent connotations and images. People like Palin refuse to have even this, the most basic of conversations, about something that can be easily changed and can be one positive result of the tragedy. However, if everyone else steps up and becomes a bit more responsible with political rhetoric, Palin and others in her frame of mind will be forced to do the same.

Many people will refrain from participating in these discussions, and it is their right to do so. But anyone who wants to be a part of the American political system might want to contribute in a productive manner instead of retreating to a corner to pout like a stubborn child. Change is a part of our society. Argue against the change or help it along, but realize and embrace that it is the nature of Americans to learn from mistakes, rise above horrific events, and become a better people.

News & Notes: 2011 Week 1

2011-01-09T17:43:00.000-08:00

In the first of what I plan to be weekly summaries of notable news items, there were quite a few bulletins that caught my eye & prompted a comment...or two.

Disturbing news was par for the course when the year began, as it was reported that a ten-year old boy in Ohio shot and killed his mother with a rifle. A witness noted that the act was done on purpose. I don’t know about you, but when I was in fourth or fifth grade, my biggest concern was whether or not I had a cupcake in my lunchbox. The follow-up story reported that the boy had four guns prominently displayed in his room. Regardless of hunting needs, in what world is this considered appropriate for a ten-year old? I’m going out on a limb to say that someone needs to address some gun issues here.

News also leaked of a series of videos shown to Navy officers in 2006 and 2007 during deployments in war zones. The videos contained numerous spoofs and supposed humor but included anti-gay rhetoric and comments as well as sexual situations. Done at a frat house? Interesting. Done on a military vessel amidst war and hosted by a Navy captain and other senior officers? Inappropriate and offensive. Captain Honors, ironically named, is being relieved of his command. Good riddance.

Oh, Afghanistan, the quandary that may go on forever. And it certainly will if Sen. Lindsay Graham has anything to say about it. He is now saying that he would like to see a U.S. military presence in Afghanistan “in perpetuity.” An indefinite commitment to the country that hasn’t been able to get on its feet after more than nine years of military operations seems a bit...well…misguided. Graham then noted that if Afghanistan wants a close relationship, “they are going to have to earn it.” Sounds a little like we would be imposing a presence and then treating the Afghanis as if we’re doing them a favor. Oh wait, that’s not much different than our policy there all along!

Speaking of politics, Republicans took control of the House of Representatives on January 5 when Sen. Nancy Pelosi handed over a rather monstrous gavel to newly-appointed Speaker Sen. John Boehner. Amidst his usual cascade of tears, he set into motion the next two years of a renewed fight between the political parties. Will anything change? Lots of rhetoric on both sides indicates that the answer is a resounding no. Yawn.

The idea of bunches of dead animals is not a pleasant one. When extraordinary numbers of sardines, catfish, and other sea creatures began washing ashore in Brazil on December 30, few took notice. Cue thousands of blackbirds falling from the sky in Arkansas on December 31, and eyebrows were raised. Days later, it was approximately 100,000 dead fish in Arkansas, followed by 500 dead blackbirds in Louisiana and hundreds of fish in Ontario, then 2 million fish in Maryland, throngs of crows in Sweden, and about 40,000 crabs in England. More from Kentucky, New Zealand, Florida, and Italy, all in the span of less than two weeks. Call it a coincidence or the end of the world, but I’ll wait until some scientists can provide answers. Until then, I’m carrying an umbrella.

The best story of the week was undoubtedly that of Ted Williams, the homeless man with the admitted gift of a golden voice. He was hustling on a street corner as he had done countless days before when a person with a camera captured his voice and personality and subsequently posted it on the internet. It went viral, as they say. Days later, the 53-year old man had been offered jobs. The Cleveland Cavaliers offered him a job and a house. MSNBC scheduled him to record his voice on the “Lean Forward” television promo campaign. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese recruited him for a commercial. He appeared on shows like Jimmy Fallon and Today, among many others, and was flown home to New York for a reunion with his estranged mother. Most people adored this story. Others had to find the dark side and found posts by sites like the The Smoking Gun that detailed some of his crimes in the past. Theft, forgery, and drug possession were highlighted, as well as other complaints like urinating in public and changing to dry clothes after a rainstorm…in public. (That happens when you have no home, I would assume.) Williams was forthright in his admissions from the beginning, however, noting that he was homeless, recovering from a severe drug addiction, and had made some bad choices throughout his years. Of course, in my conversations with some about this, they felt the need to criticize Williams and point out that they, too, had been homeless for short periods of time and never committed crimes. Congratulations to them, but everyone isn’t able to recover and find a home so quickly, and many go through periods of bad decisions before they choose a better path. Williams was one of them who struggled, but he seemed to be in a healthier place when he was “discovered.” Time will tell if he makes the best of the opportunities he’s been given. Personally, I’ve made some terrible choices in my life and hurt a number of people along the way, but I’ve been forgiven and given numerous second chances. Whether it’s my own story or simply my hopeful nature, the Williams story was a feel-good story of optimism and a second chance granted.

Lastly, the most gripping story of the week made news on Saturday morning, as information began to surface that there had been a shooting at a political meeting in Tucson, Arizona. Glued to the television and internet, the chilling details of the incident came through, and it was eventually revealed that 20 people were shot by a lone gunman, six of whom died and one of whom was Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. The latter was shot in the head and has been fighting for her life ever since. And the twisted individual who perpetrated the vicious attack was a 22-year old kid. One of the latest reports indicates that the crimes may have been premeditated, and the charges are starting to be filed. Much has been written thus far about the shooter’s political leanings that may have been responsible, and some have pointed to a past Facebook posting from Sarah Palin that was used to “target” Giffords in the 2010 mid-term elections. While none of this information seems to be relevant in motivating the accused murderer at this point in time, this is a good example to use in pointing out that words and symbols can have unintended and deadly consequences. Hopefully, future campaigns will stay away from gun and death references. For now, many U.S. citizens continue to follow the story, as funerals take place for victims like a 9-year old girl and a judge, Giffords tries to recover from a gunshot wound to the head, and the motivations and thoughts of a young man emerge to give us a look into the mind of a cold-blooded killer.

For now, I’ll leave you with some wise words from Keith Olbermann. Like him or not, this is a message that our country needs to hear…now.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Blog Pimpin' Ain't Easy

2011-01-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose it is. Doing it now. *wink*

It’s not often that I have an idea and actually turn it into a reality. But I started with a casual interest in food and wine, developed a blog dedicated to it, and launched it earlier this week. It’s called, appropriately, A Year of Culinary Curiosity.

http://ayearofculinarycuriosity.blogspot.com/

I started with a welcome post, dinner adventure, and breakfast, all in the first weekend of 2011, and I’ve since followed it up with two subsequent dinners, both with new wine choices. Discovering that I truly enjoy the entire process - from planning to cooking to photographing to posting - has been a great feeling of success with which to begin the new year. While other resolutions are off to a slow start, this one is a pleasant distraction and fun experience thus far.

Any promotion of my food/wine blog will be greatly appreciated. Special thanks to the many who’ve inspired me to do it, especially Amy, who regularly posts about her dinners. And thanks to all of you who’ve checked the blog already. I look forward to sharing my food and wine journey as the year progresses!

2011 Resolutions Reveal

2011-01-01T15:41:00.000-08:00

I don’t normally publicize my specific resolutions. Some are personal. A few may not even be realistic. And I’m not fond of setting myself up for failure.

On the other hand, I do need to hold myself accountable. Writing my resolutions for public consumption does just that, and by promising to report on my progress throughout the year, I am forced to look at my goals on a regular basis.

First, I want to touch on my goals for this blog. As I scanned the 2010 posts, I noted a solid start but a distinct fade later in the year, especially over the past few months when my career ventured into the unknown. I also discovered a significant lack of focus, a jumbled mess that often fell into the category of “purpose” but hardly touched on poker or politics. Instead of changing the name of the blog entirely going forward, I’d like to refocus and bring the posts back into line with my original intentions for the blog. And I want to do it more regularly.

Thus, there will be regular entries here on the following topics:

Politics: Weekly posts regarding important political developments, likely accompanied by an opinion piece

Poker: Updates on my constantly changing relationship with poker, primarily with regard to work in the industry

Travel: Monthly travel report, as I intend to travel somewhere - even a short road trip - each month

Music: Updates on my forays into the worlds of classical and jazz music

I will also be writing about my experiments in the world of food and wine, though that will be done on a new blog spot with the occasional links here. That Blogger site will launch in the next day or so.

Second, I wrote a list of personal goals for 2011. Looking back on 2010, I realize that I put many of my wants and ambitions on hold for…well…self-pity and a generally confused state of being. I’m ready to give this a fresh try:

Lose weight. I’m heavier than I have ever been and want to change that.
Exercise each day at home and walk outside at least once per week.
Travel somewhere new each month, whether by car or plane, no matter how near or far.
Dedicate solid time each week to one of three languages: French, Italian, and Japanese.
Read more books, ideally one or more per week.
Stay in better touch with my sister and nieces, aunt and cousins, as well as my close friend in St. Louis and my Vegas friends.
Enter some writing contests.
Query at least one major media outlet each week in order to expand my writing portfolio.
Finish writing my mystery novel.
Write my feature film script.
Complete my television comedy show pilot episode and series treatment.
Actively search for an agent for all of my writing projects.
Write at least one new short story (not necessarily for publication) each week.
Make a serious effort to launch my new small business.
Experiment with new recipes and wines on a weekly basis, and report results for the new blog.

And there it is. My official list of promises to me. Time to get started!

Toodles to 2010

2010-12-31T09:29:00.000-08:00

It’s been quite the year. After reflecting for the past few days, I’ve concluded that it doesn’t deserve the long, rambling blog post that it could be, only a few notes before putting it behind me and moving on.

The year began with so much hope and excitement, as I had plans to travel to France with friends in April, I was gainfully employed, and I reentered college to complete the last few classes that would complete my degree that I ignored for far too long. But less than two weeks into the year, my family was hit hard by the sad and tragically early death of my cousin’s wife due to a tough battle with cancer. My car was viciously vandalized. Some of my writing was plagiarized. And the world was fixated upon the wicked earthquake that hit Haiti and claimed tens of thousands of lives. That was January.

As winter turned to spring, I withdrew from school after completing only two of the four classes necessary to finish my degree because of work opportunities. Despite some road blocks, I looked to the World Series of Poker with hope and moved forward, though that WSOP turned out to be rather disappointing in many ways. I thought I found love for the first time in many years, but that resulted in a desperately broken heart. I celebrated my 41^st birthday with that man (obviously before he dumped me) and two wonderful friends who came to Vegas to usher in my new year, shortly before I realized that year would be filled with challenges that would test my fortitude in many ways.

The remainder of the year was filled with extreme ups and downs. I was honored to be invited to Amy and Gavin’s magical wedding, and along with my happiness for them, I was inspired to believe in love again after being hurt so deeply only days before. I booked a solo trip, the first of my life, to Nice to spend three weeks exploring my creative talents, but after arranging the non-refundable excursion, I promptly lost my bread-and-butter job at the end of September. A week and a half later, though, I made the best of my trip by writing and reading as much as possible and spending quality time with two friends in Nice. Those friends, who loved each other early in life and went separate ways for about two decades, came back together and ultimately PJ and Nancy married each other on Xmas Eve this year, reaffirming my belief in true love.

Throughout 2010, there were moments of greatness. My close friend decided to beat her second cancer challenge, and another friend’s sister went from Stage 4 lung cancer to remission in a matter of months. A poker friend had a baby, and other friends found out that they were pregnant. I visited France...twice. My mother visited me in L.A. in the spring, and my sister and nieces did the same in late summer. And I spent the week of Christmas in St. Louis with them as well as one evening there with a very dear friend. I spent more time cooking this year, and I discovered the joy in lounge music and began exploring the classical genre. I read more, and I bought an SLR camera so as to pursue my growing interest in photography. I enjoyed the company of new friends, and spent much less time concerned with people who didn’t reciprocate friendly gestures. I participated in some amazing high-end dinners with friends and was constantly reminded of my good fortune to have an extremely supportive family and group of friends in my life.

Let’s leave it with the positive, shall we?

**********

It was fitting that I spent the last week at my mother’s house.

She has a calm demeanor about her, no matter the circumstances. She recently adopted a new dog, and Penny’s youth comes with a great deal of energy.

She watches my nieces, ages 8 and almost 6, almost daily while my sister works, and they tend to resemble a tornado of hyperactivity. (They also have a dog with attention-getting issues.)

Her patience is something that I’ve not always recognized, but it was clearly always an important part of dealing with her family and the challenges that life provided. She watched the love of her life - her husband and my father - fall ill due to heart failure and eventually die just after Christmas, leaving her with two young girls (ages 8 and 6, ironically) to care for while nursing her own broken heart. She dealt with her own health problems through the years and worked long hours through it all to provide for her daughters, and she cared for her parents in their later and ailing years. She survived the tumultuous years that I provided, loving me through all of the hell I put our family through. In my eyes, there is no one with more patience, forgiveness, and love.

At a time in my life that I find myself struggling on very deep levels with loneliness, financial woes, and career upheaval, I took the time over Xmas week to observe my mother’s ability to deal with daily challenges. She remains the glue that holds our family together and the strength behind all of us.

I returned to my home in L.A. with a renewed energy, likely inspired by her. With her unflinching support, not to mention the sustenance provided by my close friends, I will be able to enter 2011 with hope, energy, and confidence. Though I will waver and sometimes fall, I know I’ll be able to stand up and try again.

With that, I bid adieu to 2010.

Uncertainty

2010-11-27T09:12:00.001-08:00

The loss of my primary source of income in late September felt like a punch in the stomach, but I quickly grew to embrace the employment challenge. I hoped that it was an opportunity, one that would allow me to find open doors and dare to walk through them. There was a financial grace period of several months, per my bank statement, that would provide ample time to network and make things happen, and my already prepaid trip to France was an eye-opening and relaxing motivator. By the time I returned from Nice, I was energized.

My energy often manifested itself in positivity. When asked how the job search was moving along, I was unceasingly optimistic. “I’ve got leads,” I would say. “Lots of possibilities.” “Plenty of time to make things happen.” “I’m not worried.”

I would now call those partial truths. And the reality of the situation hit me this week. A culmination of negative occurrences on Monday, most of which were minor on their own, came together to create the perfect storm of emotion. It started with anger and quickly devolved into depression as the reality of the situation hit: none of the leads were panning out, I didn’t have much time, and I was worried. Terribly worried.

Sinking in to familiar territory, it has been a week of utter negativity. Five years of immersion in the poker industry, working seven days a week and reading nearly everything written about poker, netted few work opportunities and none that could pay the bills. Said experience also doesn’t translate well to any other industry to which I hoped to transition. And on an even deeper level, I was unnecessary, not only in the work world but in my personal life. My voice wasn’t trusted, no matter how many times I’m proven to be right in the end, and my assets weren’t required, even for the simplest tasks among friends. I couldn’t even seem to walk around my own apartment without spilling things (iced tea all over the dining room floor), injuring myself (twisting my ankle standing up from a chair), or screwing up simple food dishes (worst macaroni and cheese ever made). Thanksgiving even came and went with a whimper. Woe was me.

Today is better by a small but significant margin. A solid night’s sleep and early rise have me seated at my computer with hope.

The possibility that I will be forced to obtain an office job in January looms, and the chance that such a job may not even be available in this economic environment weighs even heavier. My challenge over the next month is to focus on other options, no matter how unreachable those goals may seem. I’ll continue to apply for writing jobs and send queries to magazines and websites. I’ll work on the start-up website with a friend that may - down the road - produce tangible results. I will write out my television show treatments and send them to every agent in town, no matter the odds. I will research my small business idea, despite not having the faintest idea of where to start.

Hibernation out of self-pity is a comfortable place to be. But without putting forth the effort to change my current situation, I’m all too familiar with the place in which I’ll end up, and I don’t want to go there again.

So here I sit, at my trusty laptop on a quiet Saturday morning, ready to give myself a fair chance.

Be the Change

2010-11-20T10:25:00.000-08:00

(Note: Forgive the lateness of this post. Life has been challenging. Since my last entry was about Election Day, this follow-up is appropriate and still pertinent.)

I woke up on November 2 with all of the excitement that voting day is supposed to offer. I couldn’t wait to walk to the polling place, sign my name, punch my ballot, run it through the verification machine, and take my “I voted” sticker. That sense of participatory pride was instilled in me as a child, as my mother took my sister and I to the voting booth, explained why it was important, and told us the reasoning behind her votes, whether we wanted to hear it or not. I’ve been proud of the opportunity to vote since my youth.

There were few who shared my excitement on the most recent national day of voting. Most of the people I follow on Twitter, even some whose ideas and words I usually respect greatly, were filled anger, frustration, and apathy. Some chose to vote on specific categories and leave others blank, encouraging others to do the same should they not be able to make a choice. More noted that they did vote but “held their noses” because the options were so horrid. There were encouragements to vote third party to make a statement or refrain from voting to let the “system” know of the general frustration. Some even said that people who don’t care should just stay out of the way.

When I attempted to chime in with the mantra that people who don’t vote give up their voice in the system, I was hit with the fact that it’s technically not true. While I’ll concede that, I’ll say that one’s voice is severely diminished should they not participate in or try to affect the system.

To those who believe that the democratic system in use by the United States is broken, I’d like to know what they are doing to change it. Sitting back and bitching about how horrible things are does nothing but feed anger and frustration; it adds nothing to the discussion because there are no realistic options being presented.

And to those who vote but hate their options, those who held their noses while voting for the “lesser of two evils,” I suggest that popping into the process on Election Day and hating what you see is not enough. This is a democracy, and while it is not as participatory as most would like, it does allow for everyone to get involved. Every person in this country has a voice and can influence change, should they choose to do the work that change requires.

There is the opportunity to get involved on the most basic of levels as it pertains to electing officials that will represent you and your views. Whether in local, state, or federal government, people of all beliefs are constantly making decisions to run for office, raise funds for a campaign, and prepare to run against established candidates. If you don’t feel comfortable running for office, there are people from all parties and all beliefs that would like to do it on your behalf. There are many ways to support those people with financial donations, volunteer efforts, or other grassroots energy. In addition, there are ways to change laws - even ones that pertain to the election process, campaign contributions, term limits, etc. - if one feels strongly enough about problems with the current system. Start a petition or get involved in already established movements that coincide with your goals, and find out what can be done to help.

Sure, this is a rather simplistic order. But it really is as simple as working within the system to change it.

On November 2, I wasn’t keen on many of my choices at the ballot box. But I immediately took responsibility for my lack of attention to the process in the last few years. Since I played absolutely no role in supporting better candidates prior to or during the primaries, I was stuck with a few names on the ballot who made it through to the finals. It had been my choice to ignore the system until Election Day, and no one else was to blame for my laziness and apathy to that point. I then chose the candidates or parties that best represented my views and proudly cast my votes accordingly.

If you’re one of those people who will be annoyed when the 2012 elections approach and television channels are inundated with campaign ads, work now to change it. There are movements on many levels to limit campaign contributions, restrict television and radio ads, and stop the plethora of mail that overflows mailboxes with postcards and flyers. Get involved.

If you approve of President Obama’s accomplishments and believe in his ability to best run this country for another term, now is the time to express that and begin to support movements that will fight for his reelection in 2012. Work now to dispel myths, reignite excitement for his campaign, and work to help him serve another four years. If you don’t like the way that President Obama has been governing for the last two years and see little chance for improvement in the next two, find out who is looking to challenge him in the 2012 election and work for that campaign now. Get involved on some level, in some form, and do something.

Getting angry and insulting the system when you’ve done nothing to change it is pointless and only attempts to justify your own disengagement from it. Mahatma Gandhi said it best: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

VOTE

2010-11-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

It is your voice. It is your right. People have fought - and died - so that you and I can vote and participate in the political process.

If you’ve ever had anything to say about politics or ever want to have your opinion taken seriously in the future, you must vote. If you’ve ever been influenced by something that the government did, used something that the government offered, or taken advantage of the rights that the United States provided, it is your responsibility to participate in the process. If you’ve even taken the time to post a tweet or Facebook message about something political, written a blog post or commented on someone else’s words, or voiced thoughts about anything going on in the government, you have the obligation to back up your words and thoughts with a vote.

Do it. Vote.

And for those who lean a little - or a lot - to the left, here’s a great opinion piece by Larry Womack on the Huffington Post that discusses the importance of your vote in this particular election.